NSFWMy Rude Awakening Ch. 12
By Stellargirl
Ch.12 - Moving on (?)
I wasted days just hanging out sa hotel lang while waiting for any message, call or kahit anong paramdam galing kay Dan. I was bored and yet ayokong lumabas or mamasyal. I was so desperate to move on pero my mind wasn't cooperating. One minute I'll be fine then bigla ko nanaman maalala yung nangyari and back to square one nanaman ako.
What happened was such a huge deal for me. Sure, that wasn’t my first sex pero I don’t do this...this kalokohan... I don't do one night stands or casual sex or whatever… I’ve always been straight edge and was never reckless or wild. I lived a stress free life and nothing ever bothers me at kung meron naman, I can normally let things go quite easily. What the 'fork' happened?
Christian often checks on me and wonders what’s wrong at bakit daw parang wala daw akong gana. He’s making kulit na sabihan ko lang daw sya and he will take a leave from work at samahan ako to show me around Singapore. He’s making efforts pero I lost any interest na talaga sa kanya. Something has changed. I’m starting to lose empathy. I know naman na we all have self-centered nature regardless if we show them or not… pero I never knew I have sociopath tendencies pala.
Carrying this huge secret wasn’t really much of a burden as I thought it would be. No more guilt feelings. In fact, Whenever having a chat with Christian or seeing him when he drops by... I got a kick out of this feeling of being deceitful behind his back na parang I want him around and chase me pa lalo. Lunatic lang. Well I wasn’t technically cheating on him kasi hindi naman kami talaga.
I also got some random “kamusta” messages from other guys- some from old & current suitors and some from guys na mga nagpaparamdam. After a few yadda yadda chats with them, feeling ko bigla na parang may kulang na sa kanila… na parang they were acting way too nice sa akin. Sure, maybe that’s the normal approach naman talaga or baka they are being extra cautious with how they interact with me. Suddenly, I don’t fancy the pa-safe act anymore. Parang mas nagiging prefer ko na yung mga lalaking kagaya ni Dan… guys with outspoken demeanour, blunt and direct. A guy who’s not afraid to offend a girl. Hashtag ‘antiMetooMovement’ lang.
I wasn’t asking naman for guys na bastusin ako directly. No girl wants that… I just wanted them to be real. Maybe some of them are at likas lang na mabait and others are being maingat to level with me. Gets ko naman yun... but the lack of ‘aggressiveness’ really frustrates me. Kailangan pa ba sa akin pa mang galing yung initiative? Kailangan pa bang maging malandi ang image ko so that guys wouldn’t hesitate to think na malibog din ako? Ano sila sinuswerte? Mageffort sila…
Maybe not all guys are like Dan, who swings for the fences and is not afraid to fail. Hindi siguro lahat ng lalaki may confidence to speak their minds. I’m irate by guys na sobrang protective sa image nila. They wanted to make sure na interested sa kanila yung girl before formally manligaw or dumiskarte. I’m a millennial but somehow old-fashioned. I enjoy being chased since sobrang reserved kong tao.
I finally gave up on waiting after a few days of not hearing anything from Dan and feeling sorry for myself. Tinaggap ko na lang na maybe it’s all part of being single. I accepted na it’s all my fault for letting my guard down and getting victimized for a one night hookup. My huge ego was hit as I couldn't believe na naisahan ako ng lalaki and was used ng ganun ganun lang. I was so angry at myself but more insanely mad at Dan for leaving me hanging. That anger helped my confidence back kahit papano.
I woke up na lang one day, feeling ashamed sa nangyari at nangyayari sa akin so I went back on track and decided to move on. I needed myself to go back to where I was and it happened na lang organically. I charged what happened na lang to experience and never let it affect me anymore.
I’ve come to realized na I have four days left na lang pala sa SG so ayoko ng ubusin ang araw ko just mopping around and relishing our encounter na hindi naman na mangyayari ulit. I took Christian’s offer to show me around SG and as expected, nag-leave kaagad sya sa office nila para samahan ako sa mga lakad.
We spent an entire day at Singapore Zoo and Night Safari then he surprised me with plane tickets for a day trip to Kuala Lumpur the next day. It was a sweet gesture but of course ginawa nya yun to spend time with me without worrying na baka may ibang makakita sa amin. Regardless, na-appreciate ko yung effort talaga nya to win me back. We spent the entire day in KL and somehow being occupied with the travel helped to get my mind off things.
Feeling ko I haven’t done anything sensible during my entire Singapore visit. I got myself tangled pa in to a messy 3rd party situation between Christian and Nat. Christian probably thought he was cheating on Nat with me where in fact I was cheating on him with Dan. Terrific! Ang masama pa, wala naman talaga akong planong makipagbalikan sa kanya. I was probably just using him (hated that word) to get over things with Dan and regain my mojo back. Believe it or not, it’s actually working. I felt like my old self again.
Fun fact: Dan secretly tried to work his magic with Nat a few years prior but got turned down hard. They all remained friends though pero somehow it explains the hidden hostility between him and Christian. I’m getting sidetracked so let’s get back to the story.
Having a guy chase after me really helped get my confidence back to where it was. Wala ng gumugulo sa isip ko. I accepted what happened and learned from it. I’m not some pokpok or a slut. I’m not some parausan or whatever Dan referred to me as such. I’m desirable with a kick-ass career. Guys are treating me like a princess and walking on eggshells around me. A single mistake doesn't define who I am. I had an incredible sex and it’s casual one-time thing by two consenting adults. Yun lang yun. Nothing special. It’s over... it’s done…
It was Friday once again, week-versary of being rudely awakened lol. I was scheduled to fly back to Manila the next day so I spent the entire morning getting my stuff ready as I hate stress packing. After lunch, I decided to do some last minute shopping for pasalubongs and stroll around the stretch of malls in the Orchard area. Christian was at work when he called me basically inviting me for a farewell dinner with a few of his friends.
My heart literally jumped. I stuttered like I was guilty of murdering someone. I was so over Dan and never thought of having any chance to see him again... pero sobrang concerned ako na baka nandun sya. I don't know, hindi ko matanong… ang sabi lang ni Christian eh kasama mga friends nya...
‘Shit! Is he gonna be there?’ was all I could think of habang wala sa sarili habang naglalakad. I made such huge progress of moving-on sa nangyari tapos eto ako affected nanaman. I could've said no to the invite so that I don’t have to deal with Dan anymore... but I didn’t. Not after ignoring me ng ganun ganun nalang. This is probably my only chance and I wanted him to regret what he did to me.
I can feel sensations of blood rushing through me out of spite. I immediately went shopping for expensive clothes to wear that night. I was eyeing this pricey pink sleeveless buttoned top na nakita ko earlier that afternoon so I went back to that shop and bought it agad without any hesitation whatsoever. I hurried back to my hotel and prep myself for God knows how long. I wanna look desirable and pretty. He’s going to pay for ghosting me.. If nandun nga si Dan, I won’t even say anything or even look at him or his way. I’ll be brutally cold like he never ever existed.
I was running late sa dinner dahil nga sa tagal ng pagaayos ko. Christain texted me na naka upo na daw sila so he messaged me the resto location at pumunta nalang daw ako dun. The entire cab ride halos umiikot yung utak ko kakaisip. My hands are trembling out of anxiety yet my hurting ego was giving me enough confidence and adrenaline.
I got lost pa while looking for the resto. Hindi ako maka-focus at feeling ko I kept running in circles so I messaged Christian and asked him na sunduin na lang ako. Nagulat pa sya when he saw me sabay comment na I looked adorable daw. He’s probably assuming na I dressed up at nagpapaganda for him.
The trail leading to the resto was nerve wracking. Naka ready na sana yung taray face ko while approaching the entryway pero I was bewildered when I saw my SG based college friends greeting me with pure joy at biruan. It’s a surprise farewell dinner pala arranged by Christian for me. Another sweet gesture. I was all smiles and hugging them pero deep inside I was disappointed to see that none of Christian’s friends were present.
I don't know why pero I was hoping Dan to be there. I mean there’s no way naman talaga for Christian to arrange anything that involves him. Maybe subconsciously I wanted to see him again and not in a vindictive manner I had prior. Maybe my motivation to dress up and look pretty wasn’t all about retribution. Perhaps a part of me wanted to captivate him again and have another wild night before leaving for good.
Despite the let down, masaya naman yung dinner. I was surrounded by good and fun peeps and we were all having a wonderful time. It was sort of our mini-reunion so, chikahan to the max, taking pictures and posting them on FB. Christian avoided to be part of any photos, maybe because ayaw nya malaman ni Nat na magkasama kami. He volunteered to be our photographer since he wasn’t part of our class group. The dinner was so much fun and served a much needed distraction… I even forgot pa nga why I was upset earlier.
Halos lahat sila were teasing me and Christian to get back together. Christian was obviously enjoying the tuksuhan while I was being a sport at sumasakay na lang din ako. Probably wasn’t the best idea considering Christian may assume na fully on board ako na magkabalikan kami. We were in the middle of that ‘balikan’ topic when I saw my phone lit up with a preview of a new viber message appearing on my screen.
It was Dan.
All of a sudden I was frozen on my seat and turned deaf. Everything went slow motion at wala na akong naintindihan sa mga biruan nila. My arms were numb yet I managed pa rin to calmly swipe my phone screen and read the message;
“Nakita ko pics mo sa FB, ******* J ang ganda mo talaga...”
Sensations of blood rushing through my entire body while trying to think what to do next. My hearing went back and I heard my friends yelling na halatang halata daw na kinikilig ako dahil sa pamumula ng mukha ko. I smiled ng mejo pilit at mas lalo pa nilang iniisip na I was reacting to their banter about Christian… little do they know it wasn’t ‘kilig’ for Christian. Instead I was blushing after finally hearing from Dan for over a week.
I kept on smiling and laughing, pretending to be part of the conversation pero sa totoo lang, halos lumilipad na yung utak ko. I waited till the bantering stopped and then I picked up the phone again then started thinking what to do next.
I-ignore ko nalang ba?... Omg YES!, that's the plan anyway by giving him his own medicine. Pero hindi pa rin ako mapakali. Feeling ko I should say something to make myself feel better. I wanted to reply with something brutal like “huh” or capital letter “K” pero I decided to write something clever since via viber naman yung message nya.
“Hu u?” short reply ko implying na he’s not in my contacts anymore at nakalimutan ko na kung sino sya.
I kept on checking my phone for his reply like crazy. “Dapat talaga hindi na ako nagreply, ako pa ngayon ang napaparanoid...” sabi ko pa sa sarili ko. My phone was laid upside down on a table when it started to vibrate. My heart was racing because I know it's from Dan. I turned my phone discreetly and honestly after reading the preview message, I should've ignored it completely na lang sana.
“Libog na libog kang nagpakantot sa akin last week tapos hindi mo na agad ako maalala?...Grabeh!...“
That message alone sent shockwaves sa katawan ko. It was so forking rude and bastos and yet I wasn't upset… I should feel offended pero I wasn’t. I badly missed his candor and his outspoken nature pero I can’t let him get through me just like that... not with a simple crude message like that. No way he’s gonna win me over again.
“Nope sorry, wrong number!” reply ko.
Seconds later I received a photo message from him. The preview photo was blurred so I clicked to see what it was. It's a close-up photo of his fully erected huge cock with a caption “Sure ka wrong number ako?...”
His dick pic occupied my entire phone screen so I panicked at in-off ko agad phone ko then excused myself to the toilet. I went inside and opened my phone and there it was… Dan’s enormous cock was filling my entire screen. I’ve seen it up close and personal yet I was mesmerized pa rin. I couldn’t take my eyes off it.
I felt my heart pounding in my chest habang titig na titig sa photo na sinend nya. Flashbacks of that cock stretching my pussy wider than it has ever been. I started to remember how big it was, how it felt and how I cummed hard habang labas pasok sya pussy ko. Then I started talking to myself like a crazy person.
"J, what the fuck… what’s wrong with you?... Okay ka na e… delete that photo and move on idiot!!!”
I decided to write a simple burn reply just to get over with it.
“Yup wrong person. Wrong number. Bye!”
I waited for his reply for a few minutes and when he didn’t, I decided to go back with the group nalang. Earlier I was confident, ready to make Dan regret and pay for what he did to me. I actually accomplished it somehow... and yet it didn’t feel good. I didn’t get the closure that I needed. Parang may panghihinayang pa nga. Yep, ako pa yung nagsisisi.
Christian wasn’t at our table when I returned. A few minutes later, he came back to say goodbye and wished all of us a great night. A few of his friends daw were on the other side of the mall having dinner din and he'd like to join them. As soon as he excused himself, nagkayayaan na rin lahat na mag uwian. Christian, just being polite I guess, asked me if I wanna join him with his friends. I was hesitant at first but I’d be lying if I wasn’t curious kung kasama nila dun si Dan so I said yes. We said our goodbyes to my friends and then we went straight to the resto bar where his friends are hanging out.
“Oo nga pala, hindi ko pa sinasabi sa kanila na ex kita ah..” Christian said while naglalakad kami papunta sa bar.
“Mga friends din kasi yan ni Nat, naging ka-close ko lang din sila dahil din sa kanya” dadgdag pa nya. “Ayaw rin kasi ipaalam ni Nat na naging tayo…”
“Oh I see… don’t you think it’s a bad idea na magkasama tayo tapos kasama pa natin friends mo?” tanong ko.
“Nat is cool naman na minsan ipapasyal pasyal kita. Alam nun na friends lang tayo” sabi nya ng nakatawa.
“Sa totoo lang mas gusto nun na ganito, kasama natin ang mga tropa para may bantay ako haha... ayaw lang ni Nat ipaalam na naging tayo...” dagdag pa nya
“So anong sabi mo sa kanila about me, hindi ba sila nagdududa?” tanong ko pa.
“Nagdududa nga eh hehe. Ang iniisip nila e may gusto ako sayo kaya ingat na ingat din ako at hindi ako nagpapahalata at ma-chismis pa at makarating kay Nat...” explain pa nya.
“Gusto ka kasi pormahan ng mga yun kaya ang sinabi ko e tropa ko yung ex-boyfriend mo at off-limits ka kasi in the process of getting back together kayo hehe!...” sabay kindat pa nya.
He’s actually referring to himself on that last sentence and he's assuming na magkakabalikan talaga kami. I wasn’t even committing to anything, in fact, quiet lang ako every time he’s trying to bring that up. He’s assuming because sumasama ako sa kanya lately which is my fault din. But I wasn’t interested to any of the things na gusto nyang palabasin sa mga friends nya.
My heart was pounding as we walked closer and closer sa table ng mga friends ni Christian. My eyes were actively wandering around, looking for Dan, pero he wasn’t there. Only four of Christian’s friends na nameet ko nung Makansutra dinner lang ang nandun. Twice in a row of having an emotional roller coaster ride between relief and disappointment of knowing na hindi nila kasama si Dan. Perhaps my mind had enough of anticipation and disappointments, I suddenly blurted a question that’s been hovering me all day;
“Kamusta pala si Dan, bakit hindi nyo sya kasama?..” I asked them out of the blue sabay parang nahiya ako sa tanong ko.
“Not sure eh hindi na nagpaparamdam gaano...” sagot ni Jeff. He’s the most gwapo of the group. I’ll tell you guys more about him later.
Perhaps being the only girl over that dinner has put a spotlight on me. I was the focus of all conversation. Jeff was being funny, witty and mejo flirty. I caught Jeff giving me a glimpse while the other two were staring. They were asking for my contacts, social accounts and they wondered about kung single ako etc… pero I played it up with Christian’s story so I told them lang na single ako but not fully available. I can sense na mejo uncomfortable din si Christian sa mga biruan kaya he’s being protective sa akin... telling them na I’m picky, mataas ang standards and more into serious relationships etcetera…
There’s another guy named Brian and he kept asking me questions about Dan. He’s curious daw if Dan and I really went on a date. I was blushing yet nakasimangot yung face ko to show na mejo naiirita ako sa pangungulit nya... WTH is this guy asking me all of a sudden about Dan? Brian explained it naman na nagpapaalam daw kasi si Dan sa group na popormahan ako tapos biglang wala na daw nangyari or balita. He’s asking me kung ano daw ba yung nangyari...
Christian interrupted and basically answered the question for me. He told them nagyayabang lang daw si Dan na kesyo pinalabas pa nya sa tropa na magka-date kami dahil sa picture namin, pero yung totoo talaga eh accidental meet-up lang yung nangyari. I was staring at Christian in disbelief habang sinasabi nya yun. Clueless pa rin talaga sya sa totoong nangyari that night.
Watching them continue their tirade and make fun of Dan’s chances sa akin was entertaining so to speak. Kaya daw tuloy hindi na nagpapakita at nagpaparamdam si Dan sa kanila dahil puro porma at nabuko daw yung kayabangan nya. Gosh kung alam lang talaga nila...
Brian was sitting in front of me at pangiti ngiti lang. He's not really making fun of Dan pero he laughs and agrees with the group. I can tell na he’s more closer to Dan than anyone from their group pero nakikisama lang din sya sa biruan. They went on and on with their banter when suddenly I felt my phone vibrate inside my bag. I grabbed my phone to check and I saw a message came from Dan.
“Hindi mo na ako maalala pero hinahanap at kinakamusta mo ako sa tropa..hehe...”
Holy Mother Forking Shirt Balls! I was literally stunned and confused at the same time. There’s a ****** among the boys in front of me and I wonder who it was. Ang masama pa nito, baka alam pa nya yung totoong nangyari sa amin ni Dan.
By Stellargirl
Ch.12 - Moving on (?)
I wasted days just hanging out sa hotel lang while waiting for any message, call or kahit anong paramdam galing kay Dan. I was bored and yet ayokong lumabas or mamasyal. I was so desperate to move on pero my mind wasn't cooperating. One minute I'll be fine then bigla ko nanaman maalala yung nangyari and back to square one nanaman ako.
What happened was such a huge deal for me. Sure, that wasn’t my first sex pero I don’t do this...this kalokohan... I don't do one night stands or casual sex or whatever… I’ve always been straight edge and was never reckless or wild. I lived a stress free life and nothing ever bothers me at kung meron naman, I can normally let things go quite easily. What the 'fork' happened?
Christian often checks on me and wonders what’s wrong at bakit daw parang wala daw akong gana. He’s making kulit na sabihan ko lang daw sya and he will take a leave from work at samahan ako to show me around Singapore. He’s making efforts pero I lost any interest na talaga sa kanya. Something has changed. I’m starting to lose empathy. I know naman na we all have self-centered nature regardless if we show them or not… pero I never knew I have sociopath tendencies pala.
Carrying this huge secret wasn’t really much of a burden as I thought it would be. No more guilt feelings. In fact, Whenever having a chat with Christian or seeing him when he drops by... I got a kick out of this feeling of being deceitful behind his back na parang I want him around and chase me pa lalo. Lunatic lang. Well I wasn’t technically cheating on him kasi hindi naman kami talaga.
I also got some random “kamusta” messages from other guys- some from old & current suitors and some from guys na mga nagpaparamdam. After a few yadda yadda chats with them, feeling ko bigla na parang may kulang na sa kanila… na parang they were acting way too nice sa akin. Sure, maybe that’s the normal approach naman talaga or baka they are being extra cautious with how they interact with me. Suddenly, I don’t fancy the pa-safe act anymore. Parang mas nagiging prefer ko na yung mga lalaking kagaya ni Dan… guys with outspoken demeanour, blunt and direct. A guy who’s not afraid to offend a girl. Hashtag ‘antiMetooMovement’ lang.
I wasn’t asking naman for guys na bastusin ako directly. No girl wants that… I just wanted them to be real. Maybe some of them are at likas lang na mabait and others are being maingat to level with me. Gets ko naman yun... but the lack of ‘aggressiveness’ really frustrates me. Kailangan pa ba sa akin pa mang galing yung initiative? Kailangan pa bang maging malandi ang image ko so that guys wouldn’t hesitate to think na malibog din ako? Ano sila sinuswerte? Mageffort sila…
Maybe not all guys are like Dan, who swings for the fences and is not afraid to fail. Hindi siguro lahat ng lalaki may confidence to speak their minds. I’m irate by guys na sobrang protective sa image nila. They wanted to make sure na interested sa kanila yung girl before formally manligaw or dumiskarte. I’m a millennial but somehow old-fashioned. I enjoy being chased since sobrang reserved kong tao.
I finally gave up on waiting after a few days of not hearing anything from Dan and feeling sorry for myself. Tinaggap ko na lang na maybe it’s all part of being single. I accepted na it’s all my fault for letting my guard down and getting victimized for a one night hookup. My huge ego was hit as I couldn't believe na naisahan ako ng lalaki and was used ng ganun ganun lang. I was so angry at myself but more insanely mad at Dan for leaving me hanging. That anger helped my confidence back kahit papano.
I woke up na lang one day, feeling ashamed sa nangyari at nangyayari sa akin so I went back on track and decided to move on. I needed myself to go back to where I was and it happened na lang organically. I charged what happened na lang to experience and never let it affect me anymore.
I’ve come to realized na I have four days left na lang pala sa SG so ayoko ng ubusin ang araw ko just mopping around and relishing our encounter na hindi naman na mangyayari ulit. I took Christian’s offer to show me around SG and as expected, nag-leave kaagad sya sa office nila para samahan ako sa mga lakad.
We spent an entire day at Singapore Zoo and Night Safari then he surprised me with plane tickets for a day trip to Kuala Lumpur the next day. It was a sweet gesture but of course ginawa nya yun to spend time with me without worrying na baka may ibang makakita sa amin. Regardless, na-appreciate ko yung effort talaga nya to win me back. We spent the entire day in KL and somehow being occupied with the travel helped to get my mind off things.
Feeling ko I haven’t done anything sensible during my entire Singapore visit. I got myself tangled pa in to a messy 3rd party situation between Christian and Nat. Christian probably thought he was cheating on Nat with me where in fact I was cheating on him with Dan. Terrific! Ang masama pa, wala naman talaga akong planong makipagbalikan sa kanya. I was probably just using him (hated that word) to get over things with Dan and regain my mojo back. Believe it or not, it’s actually working. I felt like my old self again.
Fun fact: Dan secretly tried to work his magic with Nat a few years prior but got turned down hard. They all remained friends though pero somehow it explains the hidden hostility between him and Christian. I’m getting sidetracked so let’s get back to the story.
Having a guy chase after me really helped get my confidence back to where it was. Wala ng gumugulo sa isip ko. I accepted what happened and learned from it. I’m not some pokpok or a slut. I’m not some parausan or whatever Dan referred to me as such. I’m desirable with a kick-ass career. Guys are treating me like a princess and walking on eggshells around me. A single mistake doesn't define who I am. I had an incredible sex and it’s casual one-time thing by two consenting adults. Yun lang yun. Nothing special. It’s over... it’s done…
It was Friday once again, week-versary of being rudely awakened lol. I was scheduled to fly back to Manila the next day so I spent the entire morning getting my stuff ready as I hate stress packing. After lunch, I decided to do some last minute shopping for pasalubongs and stroll around the stretch of malls in the Orchard area. Christian was at work when he called me basically inviting me for a farewell dinner with a few of his friends.
My heart literally jumped. I stuttered like I was guilty of murdering someone. I was so over Dan and never thought of having any chance to see him again... pero sobrang concerned ako na baka nandun sya. I don't know, hindi ko matanong… ang sabi lang ni Christian eh kasama mga friends nya...
‘Shit! Is he gonna be there?’ was all I could think of habang wala sa sarili habang naglalakad. I made such huge progress of moving-on sa nangyari tapos eto ako affected nanaman. I could've said no to the invite so that I don’t have to deal with Dan anymore... but I didn’t. Not after ignoring me ng ganun ganun nalang. This is probably my only chance and I wanted him to regret what he did to me.
I can feel sensations of blood rushing through me out of spite. I immediately went shopping for expensive clothes to wear that night. I was eyeing this pricey pink sleeveless buttoned top na nakita ko earlier that afternoon so I went back to that shop and bought it agad without any hesitation whatsoever. I hurried back to my hotel and prep myself for God knows how long. I wanna look desirable and pretty. He’s going to pay for ghosting me.. If nandun nga si Dan, I won’t even say anything or even look at him or his way. I’ll be brutally cold like he never ever existed.
I was running late sa dinner dahil nga sa tagal ng pagaayos ko. Christain texted me na naka upo na daw sila so he messaged me the resto location at pumunta nalang daw ako dun. The entire cab ride halos umiikot yung utak ko kakaisip. My hands are trembling out of anxiety yet my hurting ego was giving me enough confidence and adrenaline.
I got lost pa while looking for the resto. Hindi ako maka-focus at feeling ko I kept running in circles so I messaged Christian and asked him na sunduin na lang ako. Nagulat pa sya when he saw me sabay comment na I looked adorable daw. He’s probably assuming na I dressed up at nagpapaganda for him.
The trail leading to the resto was nerve wracking. Naka ready na sana yung taray face ko while approaching the entryway pero I was bewildered when I saw my SG based college friends greeting me with pure joy at biruan. It’s a surprise farewell dinner pala arranged by Christian for me. Another sweet gesture. I was all smiles and hugging them pero deep inside I was disappointed to see that none of Christian’s friends were present.
I don't know why pero I was hoping Dan to be there. I mean there’s no way naman talaga for Christian to arrange anything that involves him. Maybe subconsciously I wanted to see him again and not in a vindictive manner I had prior. Maybe my motivation to dress up and look pretty wasn’t all about retribution. Perhaps a part of me wanted to captivate him again and have another wild night before leaving for good.
Despite the let down, masaya naman yung dinner. I was surrounded by good and fun peeps and we were all having a wonderful time. It was sort of our mini-reunion so, chikahan to the max, taking pictures and posting them on FB. Christian avoided to be part of any photos, maybe because ayaw nya malaman ni Nat na magkasama kami. He volunteered to be our photographer since he wasn’t part of our class group. The dinner was so much fun and served a much needed distraction… I even forgot pa nga why I was upset earlier.
Halos lahat sila were teasing me and Christian to get back together. Christian was obviously enjoying the tuksuhan while I was being a sport at sumasakay na lang din ako. Probably wasn’t the best idea considering Christian may assume na fully on board ako na magkabalikan kami. We were in the middle of that ‘balikan’ topic when I saw my phone lit up with a preview of a new viber message appearing on my screen.
It was Dan.
All of a sudden I was frozen on my seat and turned deaf. Everything went slow motion at wala na akong naintindihan sa mga biruan nila. My arms were numb yet I managed pa rin to calmly swipe my phone screen and read the message;
“Nakita ko pics mo sa FB, ******* J ang ganda mo talaga...”
Sensations of blood rushing through my entire body while trying to think what to do next. My hearing went back and I heard my friends yelling na halatang halata daw na kinikilig ako dahil sa pamumula ng mukha ko. I smiled ng mejo pilit at mas lalo pa nilang iniisip na I was reacting to their banter about Christian… little do they know it wasn’t ‘kilig’ for Christian. Instead I was blushing after finally hearing from Dan for over a week.
I kept on smiling and laughing, pretending to be part of the conversation pero sa totoo lang, halos lumilipad na yung utak ko. I waited till the bantering stopped and then I picked up the phone again then started thinking what to do next.
I-ignore ko nalang ba?... Omg YES!, that's the plan anyway by giving him his own medicine. Pero hindi pa rin ako mapakali. Feeling ko I should say something to make myself feel better. I wanted to reply with something brutal like “huh” or capital letter “K” pero I decided to write something clever since via viber naman yung message nya.
“Hu u?” short reply ko implying na he’s not in my contacts anymore at nakalimutan ko na kung sino sya.
I kept on checking my phone for his reply like crazy. “Dapat talaga hindi na ako nagreply, ako pa ngayon ang napaparanoid...” sabi ko pa sa sarili ko. My phone was laid upside down on a table when it started to vibrate. My heart was racing because I know it's from Dan. I turned my phone discreetly and honestly after reading the preview message, I should've ignored it completely na lang sana.
“Libog na libog kang nagpakantot sa akin last week tapos hindi mo na agad ako maalala?...Grabeh!...“
That message alone sent shockwaves sa katawan ko. It was so forking rude and bastos and yet I wasn't upset… I should feel offended pero I wasn’t. I badly missed his candor and his outspoken nature pero I can’t let him get through me just like that... not with a simple crude message like that. No way he’s gonna win me over again.
“Nope sorry, wrong number!” reply ko.
Seconds later I received a photo message from him. The preview photo was blurred so I clicked to see what it was. It's a close-up photo of his fully erected huge cock with a caption “Sure ka wrong number ako?...”
His dick pic occupied my entire phone screen so I panicked at in-off ko agad phone ko then excused myself to the toilet. I went inside and opened my phone and there it was… Dan’s enormous cock was filling my entire screen. I’ve seen it up close and personal yet I was mesmerized pa rin. I couldn’t take my eyes off it.
I felt my heart pounding in my chest habang titig na titig sa photo na sinend nya. Flashbacks of that cock stretching my pussy wider than it has ever been. I started to remember how big it was, how it felt and how I cummed hard habang labas pasok sya pussy ko. Then I started talking to myself like a crazy person.
"J, what the fuck… what’s wrong with you?... Okay ka na e… delete that photo and move on idiot!!!”
I decided to write a simple burn reply just to get over with it.
“Yup wrong person. Wrong number. Bye!”
I waited for his reply for a few minutes and when he didn’t, I decided to go back with the group nalang. Earlier I was confident, ready to make Dan regret and pay for what he did to me. I actually accomplished it somehow... and yet it didn’t feel good. I didn’t get the closure that I needed. Parang may panghihinayang pa nga. Yep, ako pa yung nagsisisi.
Christian wasn’t at our table when I returned. A few minutes later, he came back to say goodbye and wished all of us a great night. A few of his friends daw were on the other side of the mall having dinner din and he'd like to join them. As soon as he excused himself, nagkayayaan na rin lahat na mag uwian. Christian, just being polite I guess, asked me if I wanna join him with his friends. I was hesitant at first but I’d be lying if I wasn’t curious kung kasama nila dun si Dan so I said yes. We said our goodbyes to my friends and then we went straight to the resto bar where his friends are hanging out.
“Oo nga pala, hindi ko pa sinasabi sa kanila na ex kita ah..” Christian said while naglalakad kami papunta sa bar.
“Mga friends din kasi yan ni Nat, naging ka-close ko lang din sila dahil din sa kanya” dadgdag pa nya. “Ayaw rin kasi ipaalam ni Nat na naging tayo…”
“Oh I see… don’t you think it’s a bad idea na magkasama tayo tapos kasama pa natin friends mo?” tanong ko.
“Nat is cool naman na minsan ipapasyal pasyal kita. Alam nun na friends lang tayo” sabi nya ng nakatawa.
“Sa totoo lang mas gusto nun na ganito, kasama natin ang mga tropa para may bantay ako haha... ayaw lang ni Nat ipaalam na naging tayo...” dagdag pa nya
“So anong sabi mo sa kanila about me, hindi ba sila nagdududa?” tanong ko pa.
“Nagdududa nga eh hehe. Ang iniisip nila e may gusto ako sayo kaya ingat na ingat din ako at hindi ako nagpapahalata at ma-chismis pa at makarating kay Nat...” explain pa nya.
“Gusto ka kasi pormahan ng mga yun kaya ang sinabi ko e tropa ko yung ex-boyfriend mo at off-limits ka kasi in the process of getting back together kayo hehe!...” sabay kindat pa nya.
He’s actually referring to himself on that last sentence and he's assuming na magkakabalikan talaga kami. I wasn’t even committing to anything, in fact, quiet lang ako every time he’s trying to bring that up. He’s assuming because sumasama ako sa kanya lately which is my fault din. But I wasn’t interested to any of the things na gusto nyang palabasin sa mga friends nya.
My heart was pounding as we walked closer and closer sa table ng mga friends ni Christian. My eyes were actively wandering around, looking for Dan, pero he wasn’t there. Only four of Christian’s friends na nameet ko nung Makansutra dinner lang ang nandun. Twice in a row of having an emotional roller coaster ride between relief and disappointment of knowing na hindi nila kasama si Dan. Perhaps my mind had enough of anticipation and disappointments, I suddenly blurted a question that’s been hovering me all day;
“Kamusta pala si Dan, bakit hindi nyo sya kasama?..” I asked them out of the blue sabay parang nahiya ako sa tanong ko.
“Not sure eh hindi na nagpaparamdam gaano...” sagot ni Jeff. He’s the most gwapo of the group. I’ll tell you guys more about him later.
Perhaps being the only girl over that dinner has put a spotlight on me. I was the focus of all conversation. Jeff was being funny, witty and mejo flirty. I caught Jeff giving me a glimpse while the other two were staring. They were asking for my contacts, social accounts and they wondered about kung single ako etc… pero I played it up with Christian’s story so I told them lang na single ako but not fully available. I can sense na mejo uncomfortable din si Christian sa mga biruan kaya he’s being protective sa akin... telling them na I’m picky, mataas ang standards and more into serious relationships etcetera…
There’s another guy named Brian and he kept asking me questions about Dan. He’s curious daw if Dan and I really went on a date. I was blushing yet nakasimangot yung face ko to show na mejo naiirita ako sa pangungulit nya... WTH is this guy asking me all of a sudden about Dan? Brian explained it naman na nagpapaalam daw kasi si Dan sa group na popormahan ako tapos biglang wala na daw nangyari or balita. He’s asking me kung ano daw ba yung nangyari...
Christian interrupted and basically answered the question for me. He told them nagyayabang lang daw si Dan na kesyo pinalabas pa nya sa tropa na magka-date kami dahil sa picture namin, pero yung totoo talaga eh accidental meet-up lang yung nangyari. I was staring at Christian in disbelief habang sinasabi nya yun. Clueless pa rin talaga sya sa totoong nangyari that night.
Watching them continue their tirade and make fun of Dan’s chances sa akin was entertaining so to speak. Kaya daw tuloy hindi na nagpapakita at nagpaparamdam si Dan sa kanila dahil puro porma at nabuko daw yung kayabangan nya. Gosh kung alam lang talaga nila...
Brian was sitting in front of me at pangiti ngiti lang. He's not really making fun of Dan pero he laughs and agrees with the group. I can tell na he’s more closer to Dan than anyone from their group pero nakikisama lang din sya sa biruan. They went on and on with their banter when suddenly I felt my phone vibrate inside my bag. I grabbed my phone to check and I saw a message came from Dan.
“Hindi mo na ako maalala pero hinahanap at kinakamusta mo ako sa tropa..hehe...”
Holy Mother Forking Shirt Balls! I was literally stunned and confused at the same time. There’s a ****** among the boys in front of me and I wonder who it was. Ang masama pa nito, baka alam pa nya yung totoong nangyari sa amin ni Dan.
