NSFWKyrieirvingg002
Established
Man, my mom is crazy. Any of you guys have a Filipino mom? Raise your hand. You know the rules! You cannot win an argument with them. It is mathematically impossible.
So my cousin Jun-Jun has been going to the gym, right? He’s trying to get in basketball shape, eating 2,300 calories a day, tracking everything on his phone. He goes to visit my mom, Tita Lydia.
He walks through the front door, and before he can even say "Bless, Tita," my mom looks at him, gasps like she just saw a ghost, and screams:
"HALA! JUN-JUN! What happened to your face?! You look so skinny! You look like you are dying! Are you sick?! Do you have the dengue?!"
Jun-Jun is like, "No, Tita, I’m just dieting, I lost weight."
And my mom gets so angry. "Ay, suspect! Stop doing that gym-gym, you look ugly! Go to the kitchen, I made adobo and menudo. Go eat, sige na!"
So Jun-Jun goes to the kitchen because you don't say no to a Filipino mom. He gets a plate, and he’s trying to be good, right? He puts just one small scoop of rice and one piece of chicken.
My mom walks in, looks at his plate, and her face changes. She looks disgusted.
"Hoy, Joseph—I mean, Jun-Jun! What is that?! Why is your rice so small?! Are you insulting my cooking?! Eat more, you look like a skeleton!"
She grabs the big wooden spoon and just slams three massive mountains of white rice onto his plate. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Now the plate weighs like five kilograms.
Jun-Jun is sitting there sweating, completely giving up on his 2,300 calories. He eats the whole thing. He is completely stuffed, breathing heavily, stomach hurting. He pushes the plate away and goes, "Okay, Tita, I’m so full, thank you."
My mom looks at his empty plate, looks him dead in the eye, and says:
"Hala! Look at you! You ate everything! You are so matakaw (greedy)! No wonder you are so big! You need to go to the gym, Jun-Jun!"
So my cousin Jun-Jun has been going to the gym, right? He’s trying to get in basketball shape, eating 2,300 calories a day, tracking everything on his phone. He goes to visit my mom, Tita Lydia.
He walks through the front door, and before he can even say "Bless, Tita," my mom looks at him, gasps like she just saw a ghost, and screams:
"HALA! JUN-JUN! What happened to your face?! You look so skinny! You look like you are dying! Are you sick?! Do you have the dengue?!"
Jun-Jun is like, "No, Tita, I’m just dieting, I lost weight."
And my mom gets so angry. "Ay, suspect! Stop doing that gym-gym, you look ugly! Go to the kitchen, I made adobo and menudo. Go eat, sige na!"
So Jun-Jun goes to the kitchen because you don't say no to a Filipino mom. He gets a plate, and he’s trying to be good, right? He puts just one small scoop of rice and one piece of chicken.
My mom walks in, looks at his plate, and her face changes. She looks disgusted.
"Hoy, Joseph—I mean, Jun-Jun! What is that?! Why is your rice so small?! Are you insulting my cooking?! Eat more, you look like a skeleton!"
She grabs the big wooden spoon and just slams three massive mountains of white rice onto his plate. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Now the plate weighs like five kilograms.
Jun-Jun is sitting there sweating, completely giving up on his 2,300 calories. He eats the whole thing. He is completely stuffed, breathing heavily, stomach hurting. He pushes the plate away and goes, "Okay, Tita, I’m so full, thank you."
My mom looks at his empty plate, looks him dead in the eye, and says:
"Hala! Look at you! You ate everything! You are so matakaw (greedy)! No wonder you are so big! You need to go to the gym, Jun-Jun!"