NSFWKyrieirvingg002
Established
Yo, you guys know my uncle, Tito Jojo? He’s the ultimate Filipino tito. Fifty years old, wears denim shorts way too short, and Rambo flip-flops. His knees click louder than the microwave when the rice is done. Ch-ch-ch!
So Tito Jojo is drinking Red Horse beer outside the sari-sari store with my cousin, Jun-Jun. Jun-Jun is complaining about his marriage. He’s like, "Kuya, I’m so stressed. My wife, every single night we get in bed, she says she has a headache. Every night, man!"
Tito Jojo takes a sip of his beer, wipes his mustache with a tiny face towel on his shoulder, and looks at him like he’s stupid.
"Pffft! Jun-Jun, you are so weak, man! You don't know the technique! Listen to me. Tonight, before you enter the bedroom, you strip naked in the dark, you put a t-shirt over your face like a ninja, and you jump through the door shouting, 'HIYAH!' It creates excitement, you know? Spontaneity!"
So Jun-Jun gets hyped. He goes home, gets naked, wraps his shirt around his head, and bursts into the dark room. "HIYAH!!!"
Next morning, I see Jun-Jun at the store. Bro, he’s got a massive black eye, his lip is split, and he’s holding an ice pack to his neck.
Tito Jojo walks up, looks at him, and goes, "Hoy, Jun-Jun! What happened to you?! Did the ninja technique not work?!"
And Jun-Jun just looks at him, completely crying, and says:
"No, Tito, it worked! I jumped in the dark and shouted 'HIYAH!'... but then my wife yelled, 'Jojo, is that you?! Hurry up, my husband will be home in ten minutes!'"
So Tito Jojo is drinking Red Horse beer outside the sari-sari store with my cousin, Jun-Jun. Jun-Jun is complaining about his marriage. He’s like, "Kuya, I’m so stressed. My wife, every single night we get in bed, she says she has a headache. Every night, man!"
Tito Jojo takes a sip of his beer, wipes his mustache with a tiny face towel on his shoulder, and looks at him like he’s stupid.
"Pffft! Jun-Jun, you are so weak, man! You don't know the technique! Listen to me. Tonight, before you enter the bedroom, you strip naked in the dark, you put a t-shirt over your face like a ninja, and you jump through the door shouting, 'HIYAH!' It creates excitement, you know? Spontaneity!"
So Jun-Jun gets hyped. He goes home, gets naked, wraps his shirt around his head, and bursts into the dark room. "HIYAH!!!"
Next morning, I see Jun-Jun at the store. Bro, he’s got a massive black eye, his lip is split, and he’s holding an ice pack to his neck.
Tito Jojo walks up, looks at him, and goes, "Hoy, Jun-Jun! What happened to you?! Did the ninja technique not work?!"
And Jun-Jun just looks at him, completely crying, and says:
"No, Tito, it worked! I jumped in the dark and shouted 'HIYAH!'... but then my wife yelled, 'Jojo, is that you?! Hurry up, my husband will be home in ten minutes!'"