NSFWHindi ko alam kung paano ko ikukuwento 'to nang hindi ako mukhang ****. HAHAHA.
So may girl bestfriend ako. 28 siya, ako 27. More than five years na kaming magkaibigan. As in tropa talaga. Yung tipong alam mo na halos lahat tungkol sa isa't isa pero never mong naisip na may romantic or sexual shit na mangyayari.
Zero.
Walang malisya.
Actually, kung may nagsabi sa akin noon na makakatulog kami sa iisang bahay, kaming dalawa lang, at may mangyayari sa amin, matatawa lang ako.
"Ulol ka ba?"
Ganun ka-impossible.
Kakabreak lang niya from an eight-year relationship. Kilala ko rin yung ex niya. Ako naman, kakagaling lang din sa sarili kong breakup.
Pareho kaming wasak.
Kaya nitong mga nakaraang buwan, mas naging close kami.
Hindi yung romantic close.
Yung depressed close.
HAHAHA.
Alam mo yung wala ka nang energy makipag-socialize pero may isang tao kang komportable na kasama kahit pareho kayong walang kwenta that day?
Ganun kami.
Madalas sa bahay nila kami tumatambay. Usually may ibang tropa, pero nitong mga nakaraang buwan, kami na lang madalas.
We bonded over depression, basically.
Pareho kaming may kanya-kanyang problema.
Pareho kaming walang gana sa buhay.
And honestly, ang sarap lang magkaroon ng taong hindi mo kailangang i-explain yung nararamdaman mo.
So kapag kasama ko siya, tropa lang talaga.
As in.
Until yesterday.
May family ganap sila, kaya walang ibang tao sa bahay.
Kami lang.
Normal lang dapat.
Nag-uusap kami, nakahiga/nakaupo kung saan-saan, nagsha-share ng music tulad ng ginagawa namin lagi.
Same music taste kasi kami.
Then bigla niyang sinabi na ngayon lang daw niya na-appreciate yung "Aya" ni Earl Agustin.
Sabi ko hindi ko pa naririnig.
Tumayo siya mula sa sahig at pumunta sa PC ko para i-play yung song.
Normal.
Walang kakaiba.
She was literally just standing there in front of my computer.
Then something fucking happened inside my brain.
Hindi ko alam.
I swear.
Bago pa siya makalayo sa PC, hinawakan ko yung kamay niya.
She stopped.
Tumingin siya sa akin.
Tumingin din ako sa kanya.
And suddenly...
Putangina.
I kissed her.
Hindi ko na alam kung anong pumasok sa utak ko.
Walang build-up.
Walang "may gusto ako sayo."
Walang confession.
Walang kahit ano.
One second, bestfriend ko siya.
Next second, hinahalikan ko na siya.
And the fucked-up part?
Hindi niya ako tinulak.
She kissed me back.
Doon ako natakot nang konti.
Kasi putangina, totoo pala.
This wasn't some random impulse.
She wanted it too.
Everything happened so quickly after that.
Nagkatinginan kami na parang parehong nagtatanong:
"Anong ginagawa natin?"
Pero neither of us stopped.
And that was the weirdest part.
Parang may switch na pinindot.
The girl I'd known for more than five years suddenly felt completely different.
Hindi ko na siya nakikita as "bestfriend."
And apparently, she wasn't seeing me as her bestfriend either.
We ended up against the wall, kissing, touching, both of us trying to stay quiet because the kitchen window was close to the neighboring house.
Naririnig pa namin yung tita ko sa kabilang bahay.
Putangina HAHAHA.
Imagine the situation.
Parehong alam naming dapat tumigil.
Parehong walang gustong tumigil.
At first, awkward.
Super awkward.
Pero after a while, nawala yung awkwardness.
She was clearly into it.
I was too.
And eventually, we ended up in my room.
At that point, wala na talaga kaming matinong decision-making skills.
I remember looking at her and thinking:
"Bro... this is your bestfriend."
Then another part of my brain answered:
"Yeah."
"You're fucking your bestfriend."
"Yeah."
"PUTANGINA."
HAHAHAHA.
The rest of the night was basically a blur.
We crossed every boundary we'd apparently spent five years building.
And the strangest thing?
It didn't feel like two strangers.
It felt familiar.
Pero at the same time, completely fucking unfamiliar.
I knew her laugh.
I knew her favorite songs.
I knew the stories about her ex.
I knew the things that pissed her off.
I knew what food she hated.
I knew all the normal bestfriend shit.
But that night, I discovered an entirely different side of her.
And she discovered one of me that apparently I'd never shown her either.
We were both completely out of character.
At some point, we stopped caring about being quiet.
Well...
Mostly.
HAHAHA.
Every time one of us remembered that my aunt was literally nearby, we'd suddenly freeze and try not to make a sound.
Then five minutes later, we'd forget again.
*******.
The whole thing just kept escalating.
We changed positions, moved around the room, kept kissing, touching, and basically spent the entire night together.
There were moments when we'd stop and just stare at each other.
And those were probably the weirdest moments.
Because I'd look at her and think:
"That's my bestfriend."
Then she'd look at me with that expression and I'd think:
"Okay, definitely not thinking about her as my bestfriend right now."
HAHAHAHA.
At some point she even joked about how apparently she liked the thrill of potentially being caught.
I just looked at her.
"You're fucking insane."
She laughed.
"Shut up."
And then we'd go right back to what we were doing.
There was one moment when she asked me to take the lead.
And that's when I realized how completely different the dynamic had become.
Usually, she's the girl who'd roast me for everything.
The one who'd call me stupid.
The one who'd randomly send me memes at 2 AM.
The one I'd complain to about my life.
But now she was looking at me differently.
And honestly?
That shit did something to my brain.
I don't know how many times we went at it that night.
I lost count.
At some point, we were both exhausted.
But somehow, we'd rest for a bit, talk nonsense, laugh about something stupid...
Then somehow end up making out again.
It was fucking ridiculous.
And probably the most insane part was how normal the talking felt afterward.
We'd literally stop, catch our breath, then start talking about random shit.
Like:
"Did you eat?"
"Yeah."
"Are you tired?"
"Obviously, ****."
HAHAHAHA.
As if we weren't just completely destroying the concept of friendship five minutes earlier.
There was even a point where I looked at her and started laughing.
She asked, "Bakit?"
I said:
"Putangina, paano tayo babalik sa normal after this?"
She laughed too.
"Malay ko."
Exactly.
Neither of us knew.
Eventually, the night ended.
Or at least the physical part did.
We didn't have some dramatic confession.
No "I love you."
No "I always had feelings for you."
Nothing like that.
We just...
Stopped.
And pretended everything was normal.
Which was fucking hilarious because it obviously wasn't.
The next morning, she was getting ready to go home.
I walked her outside.
Normally, I'd just let her leave.
But this time, I followed her to the garage.
She pulled out a cigarette.
I joined her.
We smoked in silence for a while.
And honestly, that was probably the weirdest cigarette I've ever had.
Five years of friendship.
Months of being each other's emotional support.
Then one fucking night completely changes the dynamic.
I finally looked at her.
She looked at me.
And I said:
"Next time, let's do roleplay. Whatever you want."
She laughed.
I laughed.
But the thing is...
We both knew there probably would be a next time.
And that's the part that's fucking me up now.
Because I'm sitting here thinking about it.
She's my bestfriend.
My actual bestfriend.
And somehow, last night, I saw a completely different side of her.
And she saw a completely different side of me.
I don't know what the fuck happens next.
Maybe we go back to being normal.
Maybe we pretend nothing happened.
Maybe this becomes one of those stories we never talk about again.
Or maybe...
HAHAHA.
Putangina.
Maybe this is the beginning of something neither of us expected.
All I know is:
Yesterday, she was my bestfriend.
Today...
She's still my bestfriend.
Just with a very fucking complicated footnote.
HAHAHAHA.
So may girl bestfriend ako. 28 siya, ako 27. More than five years na kaming magkaibigan. As in tropa talaga. Yung tipong alam mo na halos lahat tungkol sa isa't isa pero never mong naisip na may romantic or sexual shit na mangyayari.
Zero.
Walang malisya.
Actually, kung may nagsabi sa akin noon na makakatulog kami sa iisang bahay, kaming dalawa lang, at may mangyayari sa amin, matatawa lang ako.
"Ulol ka ba?"
Ganun ka-impossible.
Kakabreak lang niya from an eight-year relationship. Kilala ko rin yung ex niya. Ako naman, kakagaling lang din sa sarili kong breakup.
Pareho kaming wasak.
Kaya nitong mga nakaraang buwan, mas naging close kami.
Hindi yung romantic close.
Yung depressed close.
HAHAHA.
Alam mo yung wala ka nang energy makipag-socialize pero may isang tao kang komportable na kasama kahit pareho kayong walang kwenta that day?
Ganun kami.
Madalas sa bahay nila kami tumatambay. Usually may ibang tropa, pero nitong mga nakaraang buwan, kami na lang madalas.
We bonded over depression, basically.
Pareho kaming may kanya-kanyang problema.
Pareho kaming walang gana sa buhay.
And honestly, ang sarap lang magkaroon ng taong hindi mo kailangang i-explain yung nararamdaman mo.
So kapag kasama ko siya, tropa lang talaga.
As in.
Until yesterday.
May family ganap sila, kaya walang ibang tao sa bahay.
Kami lang.
Normal lang dapat.
Nag-uusap kami, nakahiga/nakaupo kung saan-saan, nagsha-share ng music tulad ng ginagawa namin lagi.
Same music taste kasi kami.
Then bigla niyang sinabi na ngayon lang daw niya na-appreciate yung "Aya" ni Earl Agustin.
Sabi ko hindi ko pa naririnig.
Tumayo siya mula sa sahig at pumunta sa PC ko para i-play yung song.
Normal.
Walang kakaiba.
She was literally just standing there in front of my computer.
Then something fucking happened inside my brain.
Hindi ko alam.
I swear.
Bago pa siya makalayo sa PC, hinawakan ko yung kamay niya.
She stopped.
Tumingin siya sa akin.
Tumingin din ako sa kanya.
And suddenly...
Putangina.
I kissed her.
Hindi ko na alam kung anong pumasok sa utak ko.
Walang build-up.
Walang "may gusto ako sayo."
Walang confession.
Walang kahit ano.
One second, bestfriend ko siya.
Next second, hinahalikan ko na siya.
And the fucked-up part?
Hindi niya ako tinulak.
She kissed me back.
Doon ako natakot nang konti.
Kasi putangina, totoo pala.
This wasn't some random impulse.
She wanted it too.
Everything happened so quickly after that.
Nagkatinginan kami na parang parehong nagtatanong:
"Anong ginagawa natin?"
Pero neither of us stopped.
And that was the weirdest part.
Parang may switch na pinindot.
The girl I'd known for more than five years suddenly felt completely different.
Hindi ko na siya nakikita as "bestfriend."
And apparently, she wasn't seeing me as her bestfriend either.
We ended up against the wall, kissing, touching, both of us trying to stay quiet because the kitchen window was close to the neighboring house.
Naririnig pa namin yung tita ko sa kabilang bahay.
Putangina HAHAHA.
Imagine the situation.
Parehong alam naming dapat tumigil.
Parehong walang gustong tumigil.
At first, awkward.
Super awkward.
Pero after a while, nawala yung awkwardness.
She was clearly into it.
I was too.
And eventually, we ended up in my room.
At that point, wala na talaga kaming matinong decision-making skills.
I remember looking at her and thinking:
"Bro... this is your bestfriend."
Then another part of my brain answered:
"Yeah."
"You're fucking your bestfriend."
"Yeah."
"PUTANGINA."
HAHAHAHA.
The rest of the night was basically a blur.
We crossed every boundary we'd apparently spent five years building.
And the strangest thing?
It didn't feel like two strangers.
It felt familiar.
Pero at the same time, completely fucking unfamiliar.
I knew her laugh.
I knew her favorite songs.
I knew the stories about her ex.
I knew the things that pissed her off.
I knew what food she hated.
I knew all the normal bestfriend shit.
But that night, I discovered an entirely different side of her.
And she discovered one of me that apparently I'd never shown her either.
We were both completely out of character.
At some point, we stopped caring about being quiet.
Well...
Mostly.
HAHAHA.
Every time one of us remembered that my aunt was literally nearby, we'd suddenly freeze and try not to make a sound.
Then five minutes later, we'd forget again.
*******.
The whole thing just kept escalating.
We changed positions, moved around the room, kept kissing, touching, and basically spent the entire night together.
There were moments when we'd stop and just stare at each other.
And those were probably the weirdest moments.
Because I'd look at her and think:
"That's my bestfriend."
Then she'd look at me with that expression and I'd think:
"Okay, definitely not thinking about her as my bestfriend right now."
HAHAHAHA.
At some point she even joked about how apparently she liked the thrill of potentially being caught.
I just looked at her.
"You're fucking insane."
She laughed.
"Shut up."
And then we'd go right back to what we were doing.
There was one moment when she asked me to take the lead.
And that's when I realized how completely different the dynamic had become.
Usually, she's the girl who'd roast me for everything.
The one who'd call me stupid.
The one who'd randomly send me memes at 2 AM.
The one I'd complain to about my life.
But now she was looking at me differently.
And honestly?
That shit did something to my brain.
I don't know how many times we went at it that night.
I lost count.
At some point, we were both exhausted.
But somehow, we'd rest for a bit, talk nonsense, laugh about something stupid...
Then somehow end up making out again.
It was fucking ridiculous.
And probably the most insane part was how normal the talking felt afterward.
We'd literally stop, catch our breath, then start talking about random shit.
Like:
"Did you eat?"
"Yeah."
"Are you tired?"
"Obviously, ****."
HAHAHAHA.
As if we weren't just completely destroying the concept of friendship five minutes earlier.
There was even a point where I looked at her and started laughing.
She asked, "Bakit?"
I said:
"Putangina, paano tayo babalik sa normal after this?"
She laughed too.
"Malay ko."
Exactly.
Neither of us knew.
Eventually, the night ended.
Or at least the physical part did.
We didn't have some dramatic confession.
No "I love you."
No "I always had feelings for you."
Nothing like that.
We just...
Stopped.
And pretended everything was normal.
Which was fucking hilarious because it obviously wasn't.
The next morning, she was getting ready to go home.
I walked her outside.
Normally, I'd just let her leave.
But this time, I followed her to the garage.
She pulled out a cigarette.
I joined her.
We smoked in silence for a while.
And honestly, that was probably the weirdest cigarette I've ever had.
Five years of friendship.
Months of being each other's emotional support.
Then one fucking night completely changes the dynamic.
I finally looked at her.
She looked at me.
And I said:
"Next time, let's do roleplay. Whatever you want."
She laughed.
I laughed.
But the thing is...
We both knew there probably would be a next time.
And that's the part that's fucking me up now.
Because I'm sitting here thinking about it.
She's my bestfriend.
My actual bestfriend.
And somehow, last night, I saw a completely different side of her.
And she saw a completely different side of me.
I don't know what the fuck happens next.
Maybe we go back to being normal.
Maybe we pretend nothing happened.
Maybe this becomes one of those stories we never talk about again.
Or maybe...
HAHAHA.
Putangina.
Maybe this is the beginning of something neither of us expected.
All I know is:
Yesterday, she was my bestfriend.
Today...
She's still my bestfriend.
Just with a very fucking complicated footnote.
HAHAHAHA.