Erap: (Calling the front desk) Room service! Please bring me a "close up" and a "colgate".
Front Desk: Sir, Colgate is already a brand of close-up (toothpaste). They are the same thing.
Erap: Ah ganoon ba? Sige, palitan mo na lang. Isang "close...
Ma'am: Juan, gawan mo ng English sentence ang salitang "DEVASTATION".
Juan: Ma'am, madali lang po yan!
Ma'am: Sige nga, pakinggan ko.
Juan: I wait for the bus devastation (the bus station) but it never arrived.