NSFWjustthewayyouaree
Leecher
hi guys! seryoso time muna. i dont usually open up about stuff like this, pero i think itss worth saying it here kase i wish may nagsabi na sakin neto dati pa
so every time i got into a relationship (fyi 4 na EX ko) ive noticed something about myself matagal na and that i didnt want to admit. kase i never objectified my gf or treated them like they existed for my pleasure. basically i never believe in every gf i had existed just to satisfy me, pero in my mind i often find myself letting my sexual desire take up too much space in my mind. yes i would fantasize, and even though i knew where that mindset could lead to a specific consequence, i often struggled to stop thinking that way. i mean it was NOT something i was proud of. the harder i tried to push those thoughts away, the more i realized na i hadnt actually dealt with the way i viewed relationships. theres this one moment with my gf noong grade 10 ako, and ive always wanted to have sex with her so badly that i kept asking her, kase comfortable na kami nun eh, french kissing, touching each other, and even jinakol niya ako non, even after she said na "No, next time nalang please. im not ready" di ko naman siya finorce physically, pero i kept trying to convince her through my kind words hoping na she'd change her mind. pero dude looking back, its something i really regret man. it wasnt until later that na i asked myself, "what the fuck am i doing???" why was i putting my own desires above her comfort? if someone tells you they're not ready, that should be the end of the conversation. i wasnt being the kind of bf i wanted to be which is someone she could trust for good. pero man when i look back at myself, yes proudly to say mag mamatch siya kapag wala itong ugali kong malibog. there were times when i always put my own desires before her comfort. seryoso ako na minahal ko lahat ng naging gf ko pero i guess i wasnt mature enough to respect every boundaries the way i should have.
looking back, every relationship ive had ended, and while there were probably many reasons, i know my mindset played a part. pero i wasn't giving enough importance to emotional connection kase dahil lang sa putnanginang attention ko sa physical desire. and thats a hard thing to admit, pero its true. every after ko mag jakol ko men i'd suddenly ask myself, "bat ko naisip yon?" legit lang itanong niyo yan sa sarili niyo makakatulong yan sainyo i swear. pag nasa phase ka na narealize mo na ang lahat you would see the difference between genuine love and acting on impulse.
hear me out ah, ive realized naman that theres nothing inherently wrong with masturbation or sex. kase **** normal na yan sa tao. the problem was not those things themselves pero it was that i was letting sexual desire shape the way i thought about my relationships. i think thats the lesson ive learned. so take this as a lesson na if you are in a relationship, please dont let your habits or fantasies become the foundation of how you see your partner. see your partner as a whole person rather than through the lens of your own desires.
ironically, i am writing this right after ko mag jakol haha kase i had one of those moments of clarity again. and i caught myself thinking, "eto nananaman tayo ****" and yun. thats exactly why i wanted to say something here. just my self-awareness. if there's one thing na gusto ko sabihin sainyo, its this.
dont wait until you have lost someone to realize you need to change the way you think. attraction is natural. desire is natural. pero they should never and ever become more important than respect. this isnt just abt relationships, its about how you treat people in general na din. i learned this the hard way and sana marealize mo din to kung same tayo ng situation. thank you for reading this kung sino ka man
- cheesecake
so every time i got into a relationship (fyi 4 na EX ko) ive noticed something about myself matagal na and that i didnt want to admit. kase i never objectified my gf or treated them like they existed for my pleasure. basically i never believe in every gf i had existed just to satisfy me, pero in my mind i often find myself letting my sexual desire take up too much space in my mind. yes i would fantasize, and even though i knew where that mindset could lead to a specific consequence, i often struggled to stop thinking that way. i mean it was NOT something i was proud of. the harder i tried to push those thoughts away, the more i realized na i hadnt actually dealt with the way i viewed relationships. theres this one moment with my gf noong grade 10 ako, and ive always wanted to have sex with her so badly that i kept asking her, kase comfortable na kami nun eh, french kissing, touching each other, and even jinakol niya ako non, even after she said na "No, next time nalang please. im not ready" di ko naman siya finorce physically, pero i kept trying to convince her through my kind words hoping na she'd change her mind. pero dude looking back, its something i really regret man. it wasnt until later that na i asked myself, "what the fuck am i doing???" why was i putting my own desires above her comfort? if someone tells you they're not ready, that should be the end of the conversation. i wasnt being the kind of bf i wanted to be which is someone she could trust for good. pero man when i look back at myself, yes proudly to say mag mamatch siya kapag wala itong ugali kong malibog. there were times when i always put my own desires before her comfort. seryoso ako na minahal ko lahat ng naging gf ko pero i guess i wasnt mature enough to respect every boundaries the way i should have.
looking back, every relationship ive had ended, and while there were probably many reasons, i know my mindset played a part. pero i wasn't giving enough importance to emotional connection kase dahil lang sa putnanginang attention ko sa physical desire. and thats a hard thing to admit, pero its true. every after ko mag jakol ko men i'd suddenly ask myself, "bat ko naisip yon?" legit lang itanong niyo yan sa sarili niyo makakatulong yan sainyo i swear. pag nasa phase ka na narealize mo na ang lahat you would see the difference between genuine love and acting on impulse.
hear me out ah, ive realized naman that theres nothing inherently wrong with masturbation or sex. kase **** normal na yan sa tao. the problem was not those things themselves pero it was that i was letting sexual desire shape the way i thought about my relationships. i think thats the lesson ive learned. so take this as a lesson na if you are in a relationship, please dont let your habits or fantasies become the foundation of how you see your partner. see your partner as a whole person rather than through the lens of your own desires.
ironically, i am writing this right after ko mag jakol haha kase i had one of those moments of clarity again. and i caught myself thinking, "eto nananaman tayo ****" and yun. thats exactly why i wanted to say something here. just my self-awareness. if there's one thing na gusto ko sabihin sainyo, its this.
dont wait until you have lost someone to realize you need to change the way you think. attraction is natural. desire is natural. pero they should never and ever become more important than respect. this isnt just abt relationships, its about how you treat people in general na din. i learned this the hard way and sana marealize mo din to kung same tayo ng situation. thank you for reading this kung sino ka man
- cheesecake
