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"I Found Your Nudes"

whatthehelly

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Tonight, I found your nudes here.
Strange yet beautiful,
Hazy yet crystal clear
It's you, and yet I'm full -

Of doubt - the haze,
I cannot see through
Was it really you?
Was that really the truth?

Or are you that same ghost,
The ghoul, the phantom,
The very succubus that has haunted me
For so long - I cannot fathom...

Yet here you are, haunting me again.
So beautifully.
Long, I've yearned
For your flesh in spite of our jailbait love,
I knew - and yet I'm torn:

Every stroke to your exposed skin
Flayed raw for my eyes to feast
Oh! The pain that what was once our fantasies
Is now that of the one who revealed you in shame!

Shame! Vile demon that hath allowed this.
But perhaps I am more to shame
I, whose name profaned, ought to be blamed
for this scourge.

Had I not broken your heart, it wouldn't have been shattered by him.
Yet, here I am. Helpless. Aimless. Hopeless.
Marveling at your body from afar.
For I never had the faintest nor worthy chance to have you for myself.

I hope it's you underneath that haze.
Yet, twistedly, I hope that this was really you.
I'm sorry. I'll never live up to the man you told me I could become.
I hate myself.
 

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